A semester of broken relationships - broken hearts
LOVE: to joyously care for, answer the emotional needs of and do good things for one's self, and share the same with others without expecting anything in return.
“Without expecting anything in return.”
I guess when you love someone, you would want the person to be happy, in the decision that they make, on their decision on who they want to be with. Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to keep him/her by your side all the time. If keeping your love by your side will make you happy but the other sad, that isn’t love anymore. In order to have love, both parties should be happy.
About now, one might be asking, "Isn't it natural to want to be loved in return?" Is not expecting and wanting two entirely different emotions and desires? One expects the sun to rise each morning and to set every evening; but, neither is necessary to one's sleeping or waking. Neither is one disconcerted when clouds prevent the sun. Thus, why do we expect to be loved just because we love?
Condition or boundaries? Love without expectation only can exist without condition or set boundaries. These limits are exemplified by the following nonverbal hidden agendas, actions literally building the words: 1) I will love you as long as you respond favorably to my needs, which I will not express. You should love me enough to figure them out; and, 2) I will love you as long as you do not cross over into my personal space.
So perhaps she could say one thing of love - that it is cyclic, like nature, or like the ocean's ebb and flow, the tides moving in and out in their own rhythm, in their own season. Love is the peace of nature and the storms of her fury, the warmth of a summer day and the coldness of the deepest, darkest winter night. Love is the flower opening out, yet the passing of its innocent beauty too. Love is life, breathing itself, creating itself, destroying itself.
Love is forever, of that is certain. Yet can anyone forever be love? Love is commitment, yet love is also a setting free. Love is personal yet universal. Love is mind and heart and body and soul, all at once somehow, so love is also totality, is it not?
Love is thought-provoking, yet without thought. Love is having everything and knowing nothing, yet it is knowing everything and having nothing too. Love is the closeness of togetherness, and love is the solitude of isolation.
Love is inspiration, intuition, joy. Yet it is also heartbreak and loneliness and solitude. Love is the trembling excitation of newness, and the shaking of the grief of loss. Love is a slow and steady pace, yet too, it is the exuberance that makes us want to run and dance and sing. Love is ecstasy and misery, sureness and confusion.
Love makes us feel as if we could do anything, yet love also makes us feel like nothing at all at times. Love is being light-headed and dizzy, yet love is feeling heavy and as if about to die. Love is the slow and steady heart, yet the flutter of its racing too. It is freedom, yet it can also be the bars of a prison found deep within, can it not?
Love is the sleeping and the dreaming and the waking. Love is real and yet invisible, felt and yet the deepest mystery. Love is existence and its annihilation. Love is the question and the answer ever changing. Love is what we want to do and have to do and refuse to do. Love is pain and comfort too, the illness of disease and also its healing. Love is the beauty of perfection, yet the difference of disfiguration.
Love is the height and the depth and the width, yet love is immeasurable. Love is darkness, love is light. Love is emptiness and fullness, the yin and yang - forever and always distinct yet flowing within and through and with each other. Love is the yearning for life and the illusion of death. Love is continuance in time and time's obliteration. Love is its own beginning and ending and becoming.
Perhaps the only answer then, is this: Love Is. While in its allness and in its nothingness, we simply need to let it Be - in us
Love is just a little fuzzy at times.
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