Done with exams... start on "Tatoos"
I'm done with my exams this semester! Yesterday, I had my one and only paper this sem. Woohoo~~ but..... I'm am bored now. Immediately after the exam, I felt so empty. There seem to be no aim in things to do. No deadline, no schedule of what to do. But at the same time I am busy? Meeting friends that I will not be seeing in the coming months. Thats a sad thought. I took down my posters and pictures from my room walls , and when I woke up this morning, I felt more empty in my white room. I am leaving Canberra soon, to be exact, this sunday! *sigh* I am so gonna miss this room that I stay in for three semesters. I am also gonna miss ressies life, shifting to Hawker will be a whole new experience. It's the close of a chapter and the beginning of a new one. I really hope next year will be as great or even better than this year! Maybe that's why it's so difficult to pack up memories and leave. Thou, I will be back again next year, it will be different. The people, the enviroment, the weather.... It will be a whole New Relationship with Canberra again. This year past really quickly.
I remember packing up last year wasn't that upsetting. Maybe because most of me wanted to go back then, maybe Canberra was really boring then? It's the people... it's my friends. Humans that are so dear to me made my life here wonderful. I want to 'draw' my life next semester, like how I create my own 'tatoo', and how I drew Gwyn's. I would want to be in control. I want to 'pen' my life.
A semester of broken relationships - broken hearts
LOVE: to joyously care for, answer the emotional needs of and do good things for one's self, and share the same with others without expecting anything in return.
“Without expecting anything in return.”
I guess when you love someone, you would want the person to be happy, in the decision that they make, on their decision on who they want to be with. Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to keep him/her by your side all the time. If keeping your love by your side will make you happy but the other sad, that isn’t love anymore. In order to have love, both parties should be happy.
About now, one might be asking, "Isn't it natural to want to be loved in return?" Is not expecting and wanting two entirely different emotions and desires? One expects the sun to rise each morning and to set every evening; but, neither is necessary to one's sleeping or waking. Neither is one disconcerted when clouds prevent the sun. Thus, why do we expect to be loved just because we love?
Condition or boundaries? Love without expectation only can exist without condition or set boundaries. These limits are exemplified by the following nonverbal hidden agendas, actions literally building the words: 1) I will love you as long as you respond favorably to my needs, which I will not express. You should love me enough to figure them out; and, 2) I will love you as long as you do not cross over into my personal space.
So perhaps she could say one thing of love - that it is cyclic, like nature, or like the ocean's ebb and flow, the tides moving in and out in their own rhythm, in their own season. Love is the peace of nature and the storms of her fury, the warmth of a summer day and the coldness of the deepest, darkest winter night. Love is the flower opening out, yet the passing of its innocent beauty too. Love is life, breathing itself, creating itself, destroying itself.
Love is forever, of that is certain. Yet can anyone forever be love? Love is commitment, yet love is also a setting free. Love is personal yet universal. Love is mind and heart and body and soul, all at once somehow, so love is also totality, is it not?
Love is thought-provoking, yet without thought. Love is having everything and knowing nothing, yet it is knowing everything and having nothing too. Love is the closeness of togetherness, and love is the solitude of isolation.
Love is inspiration, intuition, joy. Yet it is also heartbreak and loneliness and solitude. Love is the trembling excitation of newness, and the shaking of the grief of loss. Love is a slow and steady pace, yet too, it is the exuberance that makes us want to run and dance and sing. Love is ecstasy and misery, sureness and confusion.
Love makes us feel as if we could do anything, yet love also makes us feel like nothing at all at times. Love is being light-headed and dizzy, yet love is feeling heavy and as if about to die. Love is the slow and steady heart, yet the flutter of its racing too. It is freedom, yet it can also be the bars of a prison found deep within, can it not?
Love is the sleeping and the dreaming and the waking. Love is real and yet invisible, felt and yet the deepest mystery. Love is existence and its annihilation. Love is the question and the answer ever changing. Love is what we want to do and have to do and refuse to do. Love is pain and comfort too, the illness of disease and also its healing. Love is the beauty of perfection, yet the difference of disfiguration.
Love is the height and the depth and the width, yet love is immeasurable. Love is darkness, love is light. Love is emptiness and fullness, the yin and yang - forever and always distinct yet flowing within and through and with each other. Love is the yearning for life and the illusion of death. Love is continuance in time and time's obliteration. Love is its own beginning and ending and becoming.
Perhaps the only answer then, is this: Love Is. While in its allness and in its nothingness, we simply need to let it Be - in us
Love is just a little fuzzy at times.
BBQ
Two great days of eating and meeting and catching up with friends.
Woken up by a phonecall telling I got a treat from boss, Wenyang to a BBQ meal by the lake! Woohoo... Free good and to get to meet up with friends! Why not?! Was a sunny day, I just put a cardigan and headed to Gwyn'd place to go to the lake together. When we reached there, it was freaking WINDY~~~! Everyone was shivering although most of us were in jackets. Met the other Singaporeans and Malaysian and other asians there. Lunch was good. Get to sit and relax at the cold lake.
1. The girl who organise the BBQ, Sylvier.
2. Gwyn and Alice.
3. Me and my girl.
4. The only non-asian, Fernando.
We then headed to a friends house to play with his housemates dogs! They are really cute! I miss Gigi. When we arrived. They escaped from the backyard and were on the roads. Good thing we arrived at that moment. They are a couple of naughty fellas.
5. Me with lovely and elegant Biscuit.
6. Me and handsome Gigi.
Gigi! There is a male dog Gigi too... I miss my little girl!
Steamboat
05 November 2004
Steamboat @ May's
First of all..... Great apartment!!! The view's great, the interior's great and the location is great too! I wish I was shifting into an apartment like that next year! haahha...I wished... We had a great time @ steamboat! One of my fav food to have among many others. Met at the mall to get get the food then headed back to prepare in a very decent and real kitchen. Hahha... I don't think anyone will understand the what I meant till they have lived on Ressies. Well here are some pictures taken.
1. Three Ladies with colourful vegetables.
2. We are having lots of food!
3. Would be a great CD cover.
4. Husband and Wife.
5. Husband's nostrils.
6. Wife's nostrils.
Competing for the larger nostrils!
Great FOOD! Great FUN!
Love..?
LOVE... Is it just meant for relationships?? Can loving someone, the 'someone' a friend? Love as a friend?
Seth: Don't leave because of me.
Anna: I'm not.
Seth: But you said you love me in the letter?
Anna: Yea, I do. As a friend.
Seth: As a friend?
Anna: Yep, as a friend.
How can one actually differenciate Loving you as a friend or lover? I get confuse myself too. Or am I too afraid to know the truth? What happens after the truth? Will people get together or go on their own path in life?
From my girl Gwyn:
"We may know if he/she is the one once we meet them, or it will take us a life-time to know that he/she is the one. It is difficult to know who our true love is."
"Love is like fireworks. It is short lived. But yet we yearn more of it every time. If we see them all the time we will find it boring."
Why can't the *tingling* feeling last forever?
Why can't a family stay happy forever?
Why are there quarrels?
Why are there break-ups?
Why is love so complicated?
STONEFEST 2004
STONEFEST:04 Made in Canberra
In 2004, STONEFEST will celebrate the University of Canberra’s thirty-sixth birthday. STONEFEST:04 will showcase over 24 artists playing a diverse selection of sounds on 3 stages over two exciting days!
Held at the University of Canberra and set amongst the landscaped campus grounds, STONEFEST is a celebration to commemorate the unveiling of the foundation stone by the right honorable J.G. Gorton, M.P, Prime Minister of Australia on the 28 October 1968, to mark the establishment of the Canberra College of Advanced Education, now The University of Canberra.
Since its creation some three decades ago, STONEFEST has without doubt become the largest music festival in the ACT and surrounding region, and the largest University based music festival in Australia.
Below are some pics that I took at the fest! We had such a great time this year compared to last yr's. I guess is the crowd that we went with.
1. The bunch of girls that I went with that night.
2. Try so hard to stay in the group.
3. Loook at the crowd, it's Groove Armada that's playing. No wonder. Hahah.
4. Me and my girl.
5. Day 2 of Stonefest, met Christine. Great sun! Great beer!
6. The Japanese band that just finish playing.
7. Another shot of them.
8. Me, a fan of theirs happy to grap a pic with them.
